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Things People with Borderline Believe to be True (But May Not Actually be)

1 Nobody cares about our feelings, thoughts, or worries (Link to BPD website) 2 Nobody wants to hear about our feelings, thoughts, or worries 3 People think our feelings, thoughts, and worries are irrational, regardless 4 We constantly get gaslighted whenever we have a negative feeling, thought, or worry. (Link to article on Gaslighting) 5 People just think we're "crazy", that we're not good, and that we're incapable of change. 6 People think we are manipulative, game-playing liars who will never change or get better. 7 Nobody understands BPD unless you have it. They are just incapable of understanding it without having lived with it.  8 We are not "allowed" to have any negative feelings, thoughts, or worries like "average" people are. 9 If we do get up the courage to express any negative emotion or thought, we are immediately dismissed and gaslighted. 10 When we are repeatedly dismissed and gaslighted, we tend to shut down and become fearful o...

The Reality of Borderline Personality Disorder: A True Story

      The Background   Borderline Personality Disorder. These words can be daunting. What does it mean? Will I be okay? How will this affect my life as I know it? I have BPD. I refer to it as “ constant suffering .” Your mind does not stop. It is constantly looking for the smallest sleight, pondering when the next person will leave, reminding you over and over how you are not good enough. For anyone. Ever. For me, BPD has been a constant presence in my life. I remember feeling huge feelings from the time I was little. I was very sensitive, and I cried. A LOT. I was very quiet and shy. Then I had a life-changing experience. Fourth grade. I come in from recess and hear my teacher saying “I hate that Amber Howard girl” to another teacher. What?! Of course my feelings were hurt. I didn’t understand. I ran to the bathroom and cried. Then I had a lightbulb moment. I was suddenly conscious of everything around me. And if she hated me for who I was, a quiet girl who bare...

The Empathetic Revolution (That will End Mental Health Stigma) by Amber Joy Kostecki

       We need an empathetic revolution. What is an empathetic revolution you ask? It is the innovation of radically transforming the world to create social change. In this case, the motivation is to progressively reform mental health stigma using empathy as the catalyst. True empathy occurs when a person not only feels and understands another's plight but is also spontaneously moved to help them. Imagine if you will, a world where everyone is compassionate and empathetic as to lend a helping hand to their neighbor in need. Sound implausible? It's not. It's possible. It is right within our grasp. And it is long overdue. We just need to realize how simple the solution really is.       Meet   Anne. She was a modest girl from an ordinary town. Growing up, she endured physical and psychological abuse from her overbearing mother. She couldn't wait to get out on her own and make her own rules, and she moved out as soon as her eighteenth birthday r...

Mental Health Stigma and the role Religion Plays

Mental Health Stigma and the role Religion Plays By Amber Joy Kostecki        Mental Health Stigma is when someone views a person in a negative way just because they have a mental health condition, and nine out of ten people with a mental illness feel that stigma and discrimination negatively impact their lives.     Borderline Personality Disorder , or BPD, is one of the most stigmatized mental illnesses in existence. BPD is characterized by emotion dysregulation, impulsivity, unstable relationships, and an ever-shifting sense of self. Although it is not well-understood, BPD is prevalent, with more than 3 million cases diagnosed each year       I am one of those cases. I was diagnosed almost five years ago, and like many others, finally felt relief at learning the name for the thing I had been  suffering with for nearly a lifetime. After being diagnosed (and still to this day), I spent/spend a lot of time researching BPD and anyth...